I loved reading this. Thank you. Having spent half my childhood in a communist country, I feel like I'm forever searching for community. I so long for a commune, one that is committed and has some rules ;). I'm out and about in my small (chosen) home town in the South where I love to be involved, and I engage in civic activities and volunteering as much as I can. I feel very connected the town and my fellow citizens and I've made good friends. The suggestion to volunteer may feel hollow at times, but I think the key is to volunteer doing something that really matters to you (a strong connection to any cause can foster strong bonds). I'm a member of our town's affordable housing and equity board and while that work is challenging, it brings together people who may otherwise not have many opportunities to meet and it's made my life all the more meaningful. Like you, I cannot focus too much on politics without intense feelings of despair, so I stay involved locally and on a policy level. Grassroots work feels much more aligned with my communist/ socialist roots.
Mara, this post is a breath of fresh air! Even in superblue Minnesota, it is exhausting to try to stay informed while it seems 80% of what I choose to come into contact with—(PBS, MPR, NPR, Substack) —is all becoming just noise in this most important of all elections, at every level of government. I've really had to develop the choosing muscles in my hand, my habits, and my mind, to shut out what is going to affect my mood to the point of pulling me out of gratefulness for having been on the wakeup list this morning! That was a phrase and a thought shared with me by a NICU surgical nurse I'd never met in our large hospital system, after a very long shift, as we shared an elevator to our parking levels.
I love the reflections on how your book club stays tight and deepens relationships! That is a key, when so many are just running flat out all the time. We have outstripped our evolutionary ability to live at human scale, and I've decided that I'm not having it anymore. My priorities aren't dictated by an anxiety- and guilt-inducing environment of capitalism run amok, goading me to do it all, be everything to everyone, and look like a model while I do so. F*ck that noise. So, on the side of my spreadsheet where I keep my budget, I have a bright pink and orange section with a crazyfun font where I record how I make my money create "joy" for me by donating to charities that mean a lot to me, buying audiobooks, pre-ordering every book written by my Substack friends, getting something for my aquarium, having brunch with a friend, taking my daughter out for a fancy restaurant meal when she visits on the spur of the moment. That's one way I feel connected to a sense of community of caring about myself and others. Of course, it doesn't have to be about money, as I can do some serious volunteer hours now that I'm 60% retired. But no matter what, we have to stop all the unkind and judgmental things we think and say to ourselves, particularly as women in a society where patriarchy is in the air we breathe. So, first we honor who we are and what fills our cups, and then we can engage in community with the overflow, enriching ourselves and others.
It's so interesting to read about election time in Philly. I'm in Nashville, which is a blue dot in a red state, so it's very different vibes down here. Lol at "candidates keep showing up at the cheesesteak place"
You beautifully captured a feeling I didn't even know I had. This resonated so much for me. I'm largely an introvert and enjoy being alone, but I also cherish time with my different friend groups (college friends, high school friends, book club friends, neighborhood friends). It always felt like such a contradiction in my personality, but reading this I realize it's just so important mentally to have your people. This also made me reflect on how I love having different groups of people that bring me joy in different ways. I love when someone can write something so succinctly (and beautifully) that captures such a complex emotion.
I love this so much! And I'm sorry, but I have a few family members coming to canvass this weekend....
Also, I'm sorry you missed out on the group zoom meeing during COVID! I had one wirh some people from my running club. It was a whole bunch of people who didn't all know each other very well, but we played games like Scattergories at first. Once we were all closer with each other, it was a lot of laughs along with the games. It was the only bright spot in my life at the time. A few hours of laughter and seeing other people helped a lot with the loneliness.
I loved reading this. Thank you. Having spent half my childhood in a communist country, I feel like I'm forever searching for community. I so long for a commune, one that is committed and has some rules ;). I'm out and about in my small (chosen) home town in the South where I love to be involved, and I engage in civic activities and volunteering as much as I can. I feel very connected the town and my fellow citizens and I've made good friends. The suggestion to volunteer may feel hollow at times, but I think the key is to volunteer doing something that really matters to you (a strong connection to any cause can foster strong bonds). I'm a member of our town's affordable housing and equity board and while that work is challenging, it brings together people who may otherwise not have many opportunities to meet and it's made my life all the more meaningful. Like you, I cannot focus too much on politics without intense feelings of despair, so I stay involved locally and on a policy level. Grassroots work feels much more aligned with my communist/ socialist roots.
I love this, thank you!!
Mara, this post is a breath of fresh air! Even in superblue Minnesota, it is exhausting to try to stay informed while it seems 80% of what I choose to come into contact with—(PBS, MPR, NPR, Substack) —is all becoming just noise in this most important of all elections, at every level of government. I've really had to develop the choosing muscles in my hand, my habits, and my mind, to shut out what is going to affect my mood to the point of pulling me out of gratefulness for having been on the wakeup list this morning! That was a phrase and a thought shared with me by a NICU surgical nurse I'd never met in our large hospital system, after a very long shift, as we shared an elevator to our parking levels.
I love the reflections on how your book club stays tight and deepens relationships! That is a key, when so many are just running flat out all the time. We have outstripped our evolutionary ability to live at human scale, and I've decided that I'm not having it anymore. My priorities aren't dictated by an anxiety- and guilt-inducing environment of capitalism run amok, goading me to do it all, be everything to everyone, and look like a model while I do so. F*ck that noise. So, on the side of my spreadsheet where I keep my budget, I have a bright pink and orange section with a crazyfun font where I record how I make my money create "joy" for me by donating to charities that mean a lot to me, buying audiobooks, pre-ordering every book written by my Substack friends, getting something for my aquarium, having brunch with a friend, taking my daughter out for a fancy restaurant meal when she visits on the spur of the moment. That's one way I feel connected to a sense of community of caring about myself and others. Of course, it doesn't have to be about money, as I can do some serious volunteer hours now that I'm 60% retired. But no matter what, we have to stop all the unkind and judgmental things we think and say to ourselves, particularly as women in a society where patriarchy is in the air we breathe. So, first we honor who we are and what fills our cups, and then we can engage in community with the overflow, enriching ourselves and others.
Thank you so much for sharing all this, Kate. I love the way you put it: outstripped our evolutionary ability to live at human scale. ❤️
It's so interesting to read about election time in Philly. I'm in Nashville, which is a blue dot in a red state, so it's very different vibes down here. Lol at "candidates keep showing up at the cheesesteak place"
Oh man, totally different. What a wild electoral system we have, here. Good luck getting through the next few days!
Thanks, Mara! You, too.
You beautifully captured a feeling I didn't even know I had. This resonated so much for me. I'm largely an introvert and enjoy being alone, but I also cherish time with my different friend groups (college friends, high school friends, book club friends, neighborhood friends). It always felt like such a contradiction in my personality, but reading this I realize it's just so important mentally to have your people. This also made me reflect on how I love having different groups of people that bring me joy in different ways. I love when someone can write something so succinctly (and beautifully) that captures such a complex emotion.
Thank you Kiersten. <3 So glad to be in community with you!!! xoxo
I love this so much! And I'm sorry, but I have a few family members coming to canvass this weekend....
Also, I'm sorry you missed out on the group zoom meeing during COVID! I had one wirh some people from my running club. It was a whole bunch of people who didn't all know each other very well, but we played games like Scattergories at first. Once we were all closer with each other, it was a lot of laughs along with the games. It was the only bright spot in my life at the time. A few hours of laughter and seeing other people helped a lot with the loneliness.
Yep, our canvassers are coming in Friday night!! Haha.