You're a better woman than I am, Gunga Din! I admire your empathy and patients patience, as undoubtedly that is the best way to keep hearts and minds open. As a kid whose parents were Christian Scientists, I did not get any vaccines or have any doctor visits growing up. My brother and I did, however, get measles and were out of school for about 6 weeks.
It's super ironic that I remember my mother, who was born in 1930, speaking with reverence about Jonas Salk and all the children he saved from polio. She grew up with FDR as president (her family were Methodists, I believe, and at some point adopted Christian Science.) I still don't know how she handled the cognitive dissonance.
By the age of 13, I decided that the religion was not for me. I saw too much hypocrisy, and watched my sister die from untreated (though eventually formally diagnosed) leukemia at age 21, with a desperate plea for pain relief at the end.
As an adult seeking birth control, I said to my OB/GYN, "Load me up with all the vaccines you've got," and had to reassure her that I needed the whole series. I trained as an EMT just to learn about my own body and health, feeling like I'd never gotten the owner's manual.
Fast forward to my own daughter's birth, and of course a new mom holds her breath until it's clear there is no allergic reaction, because New Mom—but it is difficult to understand not protecting your precious child against a medieval horror show of diseases. Their prevention is something parents CAN control in a world of uncertainty.
Fast forward again, and my grownup daughter is now an ER nurse. ❤️ 💉The "PRO VAX" pin she gave me is prominently stuck to my purse. Thank you for being willing to do the hard work in the trenches to save lives, Mara!
Such a thoughtful piece - enjoyed your take! Particularly “I’d rather help kids from anti-vaccine families get some medical care, even if vaccines are rejected.” This is such a humanistic perspective for those children. I work in inpatient cardiology and graduate nursing education so primary care is way out of my wheelhouse. When I was researching pediatricians for my son, I was encouraged by primary care colleagues to only seek practices that required following the vaccine schedule in order to minimize my own child’s exposure to other unvaccinated children. Would you say that your pediatric practice makeup is reflective of the %vaccinated in your community? Or do you think you have a disproportionately lower number of vaccinated children because you also accept anti-vaccine families?
Being a parent made me more sympathetic to people who get their medical information from social networks and get steered in odd directions. When I was a new mom, I sometimes felt like I wanted a nurse on call 24/7 for all the little questions I had - my mom couldn't be there for us, I didn't have anybody else that could pop in (this is leaking into the modern lack of community a lot of us struggle with). There was nobody in my life that could spend a majority of their time and energy just for me and this new phase of my life I was catapulted into. Seeking out medical help was sometimes met with an immediate wait time and callbacks hours later, for the briefest of conversations with someone who probably had spent hours dealing with a deluge of anxious parents just like me and was numb to it.
What I did have was my Discord bumper group, with 50+ other parents who had babies around the same time as our girls and were all going through the same things at the same time. We could uplift each other with the reassurance and compassion we all craved. Each time the girls woke up I also spent a little time checking in, encouraging, reassuring, and helping where I could and getting much needed replies when I was at my lows. Everybody else was awake at odd hours, so this was truly my 24/7 support line.
We also shared information. Even now as a second (third?) time mom, my pelvic floor therapy referral was instantly met with apologetic wait times into October and other avenues I could try to seek out. But, to be totally honest, I just don't have the energy to call places, be put on hold, and spend those half hours being disappointed all while trying to feed a crying baby or manage my constant list of my own bodily needs that get pushed to the side. So instead I have my bumper group, where people who did make it to PT appointments are sharing their PDFs and documents and exercises given to them by providers that I can try secondhand when I have the time.
I've probably gained some weird and inaccurate information in my mom journey, but with the current state of the world I'm not sure what could be done better. There are too many patients like me, too many anxious moms with weak bladders trying to get the attention of too few medical providers and therapists. It takes a long time to train a new physician, and there are only so many spots available for medical school and residency anyway, and my bet is that being a therapist of any kind makes too little, costs too much, takes too long, and has too much burden for people to want to consider.
I enjoy all of your writing but I think this is one of my favorites! My approach with the vaccine hesitant is similar to yours. I may start using your tactic of saying that if a patient was my sister/brother/parent I would be texting them to get the vaccine (also useful for my cancer screening hesitant patients). Among all the other reasons you mentioned for vaccine hesitancy, I think the worry that you might cause an issue (for yourself or your child) with a vaccine, no matter how small the likelihood, is why even a small doubt can make such a big impact in vaccination behaviors. With things like the COVID and flu vaccine, since we can't guarantee that someone won't still get COVID or flu after getting the vaccine (though we have reduced their risk!) I think it's harder for someone to decide that it's worth taking it if they don't have that social background that is positive towards vaccines to begin with.
"Science is worthless without public trust, it turns out." - so true, and it amplifies all the harm RFK Jr is doing now. :(
I had my daughter in 2000, and the vaccine hesitancy talk affected me as well (and I'm a scientist, although not in the life sciences). I am really grateful that I had an understanding pediatrician who pointed me toward the resources to understand the issue and the science. That allowed me to understand just how safe and effective vaccines are.
And while I can understand medical practices refusing to work with unvaccinated families, I also agree with you that in our current culture, it only widens the rift. Politics has become another type of celebrity sports, with people supporting their "team" regardless of what their team is actually doing. We use bumper stickers and flags to show our team support, and then we hate each other without even knowing each other. Once that happens, the hope of real conversation about the issues is lost.
Here is a question: how are those bamboo cutting boards made? Mine isn't a single slice of bamboo but rather pieces glued together. What's the glue made out of? We can go down this rabbit hole with maybe all of our plastic swaps. At which point we basically have to contend with the fact that we can't have any modern life luxuries if we want to be truly plastic free. And then what? Do we fear lead poisoning? Everything becomes less fireproof? Anyway... thr vaccine hesitancy link here is interesting. The common piece that I think is important is that a lot of people are suffering from chronic diseases that don't have any good explanations or treatments. If youre not one of the people who suffers, you probably know someone who is. So yeah, people are looking for all kinds of explanations from microplastics to vaccines to microbiome to whatever. All of these seem more plausible than the "eat healthy and exercise more" mantra that we all get from doctors as the only fix.
Love your substack. I'm not a parent but I would skip flu and covid vaccines for a hypothetical child of mine. The other ones I would look at on a case by case basis with a bias towards not vaccinating. In the pre-covid era I never would have thought about it and would have implicitly followed the official schedule.
I hope it becomes easier to find pediatricians that don't discriminate in the future.
You're a better woman than I am, Gunga Din! I admire your empathy and patients patience, as undoubtedly that is the best way to keep hearts and minds open. As a kid whose parents were Christian Scientists, I did not get any vaccines or have any doctor visits growing up. My brother and I did, however, get measles and were out of school for about 6 weeks.
It's super ironic that I remember my mother, who was born in 1930, speaking with reverence about Jonas Salk and all the children he saved from polio. She grew up with FDR as president (her family were Methodists, I believe, and at some point adopted Christian Science.) I still don't know how she handled the cognitive dissonance.
By the age of 13, I decided that the religion was not for me. I saw too much hypocrisy, and watched my sister die from untreated (though eventually formally diagnosed) leukemia at age 21, with a desperate plea for pain relief at the end.
As an adult seeking birth control, I said to my OB/GYN, "Load me up with all the vaccines you've got," and had to reassure her that I needed the whole series. I trained as an EMT just to learn about my own body and health, feeling like I'd never gotten the owner's manual.
Fast forward to my own daughter's birth, and of course a new mom holds her breath until it's clear there is no allergic reaction, because New Mom—but it is difficult to understand not protecting your precious child against a medieval horror show of diseases. Their prevention is something parents CAN control in a world of uncertainty.
Fast forward again, and my grownup daughter is now an ER nurse. ❤️ 💉The "PRO VAX" pin she gave me is prominently stuck to my purse. Thank you for being willing to do the hard work in the trenches to save lives, Mara!
I am so sorry to hear about your sister. That is deeply, deeply sad. Thank you for sharing this story.
Thank you, and keep up the good fight!
Such a thoughtful piece - enjoyed your take! Particularly “I’d rather help kids from anti-vaccine families get some medical care, even if vaccines are rejected.” This is such a humanistic perspective for those children. I work in inpatient cardiology and graduate nursing education so primary care is way out of my wheelhouse. When I was researching pediatricians for my son, I was encouraged by primary care colleagues to only seek practices that required following the vaccine schedule in order to minimize my own child’s exposure to other unvaccinated children. Would you say that your pediatric practice makeup is reflective of the %vaccinated in your community? Or do you think you have a disproportionately lower number of vaccinated children because you also accept anti-vaccine families?
Such a great question! I am not sure, to be honest. My guess is that the vast majority of our patients accept routine childhood vaccines.
Flu shots and covid shots are the sticking points... :(
Gotcha! I should also add that I’m writing from Florida and we all know how things are going down here.
yes...... Just remember, you're building trust one family at a time. <3
Being a parent made me more sympathetic to people who get their medical information from social networks and get steered in odd directions. When I was a new mom, I sometimes felt like I wanted a nurse on call 24/7 for all the little questions I had - my mom couldn't be there for us, I didn't have anybody else that could pop in (this is leaking into the modern lack of community a lot of us struggle with). There was nobody in my life that could spend a majority of their time and energy just for me and this new phase of my life I was catapulted into. Seeking out medical help was sometimes met with an immediate wait time and callbacks hours later, for the briefest of conversations with someone who probably had spent hours dealing with a deluge of anxious parents just like me and was numb to it.
What I did have was my Discord bumper group, with 50+ other parents who had babies around the same time as our girls and were all going through the same things at the same time. We could uplift each other with the reassurance and compassion we all craved. Each time the girls woke up I also spent a little time checking in, encouraging, reassuring, and helping where I could and getting much needed replies when I was at my lows. Everybody else was awake at odd hours, so this was truly my 24/7 support line.
We also shared information. Even now as a second (third?) time mom, my pelvic floor therapy referral was instantly met with apologetic wait times into October and other avenues I could try to seek out. But, to be totally honest, I just don't have the energy to call places, be put on hold, and spend those half hours being disappointed all while trying to feed a crying baby or manage my constant list of my own bodily needs that get pushed to the side. So instead I have my bumper group, where people who did make it to PT appointments are sharing their PDFs and documents and exercises given to them by providers that I can try secondhand when I have the time.
I've probably gained some weird and inaccurate information in my mom journey, but with the current state of the world I'm not sure what could be done better. There are too many patients like me, too many anxious moms with weak bladders trying to get the attention of too few medical providers and therapists. It takes a long time to train a new physician, and there are only so many spots available for medical school and residency anyway, and my bet is that being a therapist of any kind makes too little, costs too much, takes too long, and has too much burden for people to want to consider.
Beautifully said <3
I enjoy all of your writing but I think this is one of my favorites! My approach with the vaccine hesitant is similar to yours. I may start using your tactic of saying that if a patient was my sister/brother/parent I would be texting them to get the vaccine (also useful for my cancer screening hesitant patients). Among all the other reasons you mentioned for vaccine hesitancy, I think the worry that you might cause an issue (for yourself or your child) with a vaccine, no matter how small the likelihood, is why even a small doubt can make such a big impact in vaccination behaviors. With things like the COVID and flu vaccine, since we can't guarantee that someone won't still get COVID or flu after getting the vaccine (though we have reduced their risk!) I think it's harder for someone to decide that it's worth taking it if they don't have that social background that is positive towards vaccines to begin with.
"Science is worthless without public trust, it turns out." - so true, and it amplifies all the harm RFK Jr is doing now. :(
Thank you, Diana. Keep fighting the good fight!
I had my daughter in 2000, and the vaccine hesitancy talk affected me as well (and I'm a scientist, although not in the life sciences). I am really grateful that I had an understanding pediatrician who pointed me toward the resources to understand the issue and the science. That allowed me to understand just how safe and effective vaccines are.
And while I can understand medical practices refusing to work with unvaccinated families, I also agree with you that in our current culture, it only widens the rift. Politics has become another type of celebrity sports, with people supporting their "team" regardless of what their team is actually doing. We use bumper stickers and flags to show our team support, and then we hate each other without even knowing each other. Once that happens, the hope of real conversation about the issues is lost.
Thank you for sharing this!
Here is a question: how are those bamboo cutting boards made? Mine isn't a single slice of bamboo but rather pieces glued together. What's the glue made out of? We can go down this rabbit hole with maybe all of our plastic swaps. At which point we basically have to contend with the fact that we can't have any modern life luxuries if we want to be truly plastic free. And then what? Do we fear lead poisoning? Everything becomes less fireproof? Anyway... thr vaccine hesitancy link here is interesting. The common piece that I think is important is that a lot of people are suffering from chronic diseases that don't have any good explanations or treatments. If youre not one of the people who suffers, you probably know someone who is. So yeah, people are looking for all kinds of explanations from microplastics to vaccines to microbiome to whatever. All of these seem more plausible than the "eat healthy and exercise more" mantra that we all get from doctors as the only fix.
yes yes yes to all of this.
And I have no clue what is actually in my cutting board.
Love your substack. I'm not a parent but I would skip flu and covid vaccines for a hypothetical child of mine. The other ones I would look at on a case by case basis with a bias towards not vaccinating. In the pre-covid era I never would have thought about it and would have implicitly followed the official schedule.
I hope it becomes easier to find pediatricians that don't discriminate in the future.
I LOVE vaccines! They help protect our kids and communities. I hope I can earn my patients' trust and help them understand this scientific truth. <3